A MOTHER'S STORY: The Family Perspective on Mental Illness

By Margaret Brandy Spencer

My first encounter with Stigma was at the hospital where my daughter was first diagnosed in 1995. She was in the holding room when I got there. She was looking through the glass at me and crying. I was told by the nurse to wait because the doctor was called.

After nervously walking back and forth for about 90 minutes, I approached the nurse's desk and asked When will she be seen by a doctor?

The nurse's response was, Miss, you better pull yourself together, because your daughter must have been on drugs for a long time.

This response made me very nervous and confused because I had no idea that she was on drugs. Later her blood test revealed that she was not on drugs and was admitted and treated for severe clinical depression with psychotic features.

Another experience, two weeks later, was her second admittance to the psychiatric unit where she was asked, What are you doing here? I thought that you would know how to stay out of here.

A third experience was when I shared with one of my co-workers that my daughter was in the mental health unit, her response was, Girl, that is not something that you should tell anyone, you should keep it to yourself. Don't you know that people will start looking at you differently?

I choose these experiences because they happened within the first month of my daughter's diagnosis. I was confused and devastated. But in the middle of this, when I was leaving the hospital once after visiting my daughter, someone said to me, There is Hope. But there were many other negative comments. Some of these were:

She is of age, leave her alone.
You spoiled her. If you leave her to herself; it will go away.
She needs to be independent.
Let us pray. With God all things are possible.
She will never get better. Once crazy, always crazy.
Send her off island to a facility. She needs to get an injection.
What have you done to cause your daughter's illness?
Why don't you help your daughter?

I was very anxious and I had no clue what to do. As these experiences continued to multiply, I decided to read everything that referred to mental Illness/health, depression, medication, and everything that touted hope in recovery and stigma.

I discovered that the mentally ill cannot help themselves -- they need others. However, they can work, and most can operate normally when on medication. They need our love and support, not our judgment.

I am proud to say that I have now become an advocate for people with mental illness.